Our lives are jam packed. We’re running here and there – doing this and that. Very often carving time out for peace and solitude is impossible. Or so we tell ourselves.
There are many reports showing that an untidy home can lead to lack of productivity, stress, and depression. But what about an extra full life – meaning a life that’s so packed with activity that there’s little time for your own wellbeing? This is a type of overcrowding that’s less talked about.
But focusing on your own inner peace is important. Because it gives time to focus on what’s truly important. Many people have lost touch with what brings them fulfillment. Taking moments of the day to focus on joy isn’t indulgent. It’s essential for good health and happiness.
So how do we go about finding this time? The answer might surprise you. Today we’re going over some creative steps you can take right now to create joy and your own personal inner-peace.
Decline what’s not right For you.
Being firm isn’t being rude. It’s important to learn to pick and choose when you say yes. You choose what you bring into your life. And if you’re bringing in lots of what doesn’t work for you, you’ll likely feel unsettled and unsatisfied.
Let yourself be a martyr to other people’s problems, and you’re keeping others from learning to tend to themselves. Say no to others who can take care of themselves. And you’ll help create essential time for your own place of inner-peace.
Decide what matters
Part of not saying yes to every opportunity is to decide what really matters. This might be especially challenging if you’ve spent years letting others dictate your choices. So what opportunities are worthy of your yes answer?
Of course, there are things to which you must say yes. You need to take your child to the doctor when she is sick. You really probably have to attend your sister’s wedding. But what about those things where a yes answer shouldn’t be a given?
Decide the situations for which you want to make yourself available. Maybe you really love girl’s night out every Friday. Or perhaps you enjoy volunteering for charity because it makes you feel good. Decide what yes answers meet your values and then you can selectively start saying no to the others..
It’s easy for us women to feel responsible for other people’s problems. If someone we care for is unsettled, we feel we’ve let them down. But it’s like being on a plane. We have to put on our own mask before taking care of someone else. Our inner peace is essential for us to be good for others.
A journal is a great tool to help break the habit of putting others before ourselves. At the end of each day, write what you did for yourself. Now write what you did to take care of other’s needs. And if you see the scale tipped in the direction of taking care of others, it’s time to make change.
This is a good long-term project. One day doesn’t tell the whole story. It’s helpful to see your habits over time. What does your self-care look like over a matter of weeks or months? Start looking at the patterns in your life.
Forget about changing others
If you’ve spent your life working around other’s needs, it’s natural to want others to understand and acknowledge your actions. It would be wonderful if friends and family celebrated the commitment you’re place on your own self-care. But you can’t change the way others act and feel.
If people have been used to you tending more to their needs than to your own, they’ll likely begrudge you any change at first. Maybe that will change with time. Perhaps it won’t. But that’s not your problem.
You’re creating time and space for your own inner peace because it’s emotional healthy, Worry about yourself. Be there for others when truly needed. Not to sound cliche, but if someone is careless with your happiness, they weren’t every truly your friend. True story.
Cut out the chatter
If you’re like most, there are many voices directing you. And I’m not just talk about your mother, your spouse or your best friend. I’m talking about voices on social media, late night talk shows, and even blogs like this. We’re all trying to tell the way you should live.
But you know you best. The rest of us are giving advice based on our own experiences. and our own standards. You can’t find your own inner peace while living someone else’s version of fulfillment. So don’t try.
Consider the chatter you hear as a consultant. But you’re the one calling the shots. And if your decisions don’t gel with someone else, then that’s their problem. It’s not yours.
Creating your own s pace for inner peace is healthy, It will help you to be more effective in life And you’ll be so much more present for everyone else since you’ll have taken the needed time to nurture yourself first.