As a young person, I had this ideal of how my body should be. Gosh, if only I had Jennifer Aniston’s perfect straight Rachel cut. Maybe if I had the perfect curves of Cindy Crawford. Or perhaps if was super skinny like Jennie Garth. (OK, I’m definitely dating myself here!) But instead, I was left with a flawed body image.
My flawed body image told me constantly that I was unattractive. That boys wouldn’t like me. That girls would see me as less valuable. And yes, we can be particularly insecure as young people. But body image insecurities follow us into adulthood.
We shouldn’t place so much value on our looks. But, we inevitably do. And this stops us from appreciating many of the amazing things are bodies can do. And it instead places the focus entirely on how we perceive that we aesthetically fall short.
Here’s a short routine I’ve used to repair my own body image. Because we all have positives. They are just so easy to take for granted.
Can you have a positive body image and still aspire to lose weight?
Going from a flawed to a positive body image doesn’t mean you abandon your attempts to lose weight or improve yourself in other ways. It just means that you do it from a healthier, more loving place within yourself.
You’re no longer trying to lose weight to cover some type of shame. You feel good in your body. And your body image no longer translates into deeper negative self-assumptions.
Getting healthy comes out of a place of love. As you feel good about your body so you aspire to treat it well. It has nothing to do with living up to some unreachable ideal.
Presenting: A short routine to make peace with a flawed body image.
If your first immediate reaction to seeing this is to laugh or turn to a different post, I’ve got news for you. This would have been my reaction years ago too. And this is a sure sign that your body image could use some healing.
Positive Body Image Step 1:
Gently touch your arms, your legs, your face. How does your skin feel? What is one positive thing you can say about your body from touching your skin? We spend so much time looking at ourselves and judging. But we forget about the beauty of how we feel.
So if your eyes can’t yet appreciate your beauty, move to the direction of touch. Maybe you feel strong. Perhaps your skin is soft. Maybe you have really plump lips. Or your hair is really silky.
Forget about your flawed body image for a second. Just find one small thing you love about your body. That’s a great start. And we’ll move forward from there.
Positive Body Image Step 2:
Dress yourself in something that feels good. Remember how you were as a small child? You didn’t judge someone based on the way they looked. But you were probably very aware of how a person felt. Did they feel warm? Would they feel safe? Did they feel comforting?
Write down three things about why this clothing feels good to you. If your inner-critic says something mean or derogatory, skip those comments. It might take you a little while to come up with three things. But be patient with yourself.
Positive Body Image Step 3:
Look at yourself in the mirror. Honestly, this step is hard for me. I was rejected a lot growing up. I spent years going through mental neglect and abuse. And it was during this time in my life that I stopped being able to look in the mirror. I internalized the criticism and abuse and placed it firmly on my reflection.
But making peace with your body image through your reflection is vital. You have to find the parts of yourself that are lovable. And you are lovable. If that notion makes you uncomfortable, then stay with me. Because you definitely need healing.
Look at yourself and say aloud three things you like when you see yourself. Don’t say you don’t like anything. That’s too easy of an out. Focus!
I like my eyes, the shape of my shoulders, and the color of my hair. OK, that wasn’t too hard!
Positive Body Image Step 4:
This routine to make peace with a flawed body image ends with a challenge to take forward. Notice when you say something negative about your body. And as soon as you think negative thoughts about yourself, turn those thoughts around. Put a positive thought in place of a negative one.
For instance, let’s say your thought is, “my arms are so weak.” This is one I think often because I don’t have a naturally muscular build and my arms are always lagging behind the rest of my body.
What could you think instead. Hmmm. My arms feel really good when hugging someone. And I love that I’m working on building their strength. And I love that the skin on my arms is so soft.
Yes, this can feel corny sometimes. Well, at least it can for me. But it’s building better mental habits. And good mental habits are as important as physical habits like going to the gym. Only with these positive mental habits will a flawed body image start to turn into a positive.
Moving forward with love for your body
As I said before, you can make peace with your body image and still work towards your goals. You can lose weight, gain weight, build muscle and anything else. But now, you’ll be moving forward from a place of love.
And being in a place of love strengthens your efforts. It increases the chance that you’ll be successful. And it makes it less likely that you’ll spiral off course at the slightest slip up. Because your critic is in control when you let a slip-up distract you
When you’ve got the loving part of yourself in control. You’re invincible. You can persevere against anything. You can achieve your goals and your dreams.
So I challenge you to work towards a loving body image. This routine just takes a few moments. Yes, I felt silly at first. You may as well. It is worth a few minutes of feeling silly. Because once you improve your flawed body image, the sky’s the limit.
Corinne says
wow, this was so inspiring! I, too, have been working on my body image.
Sara says
I love your practical tips! Changing these sorts of habits is so powerful!
robin rue says
I am constantly working on my body image. I have gained some weight this year and have been really down on myself about it.
Karen Morse says
I guess at some point we all go through this especially as women. Self love and gaining a positive mindset is truly important. I had to learn that the hard way, growing up. Now I just love who I am and what I came to be. These are beautiful tips on how we can love our bodies more.
melissa chapman says
I had been feeling good about myself and my body image lately until I couldn’t fit into my sister’s size two. Now i am questioning all my hard work and if it is paying off and if I should feel good in my own skin.
Andrea says
I think we all go through this at some point. i have suffered from poor body image and disordered eating from a young age and a three years ago finally made peace with my body and with food best day ever.
cassie says
Thank you for sharing this – it is never easy to reveal our more vulnerable sides! I’m so happy you’ve found something that worked for you to grow to love your body!
Terri Steffes says
I struggle with this daily. I am going to incorporate your suggestions into my morning routine. I need this so badly!
Brittany says
I think this is something that’s so important and rarely given the time it’s deserved. We need to learn to love ourselves.
Pam says
I often think back to when I was younger and thought I was fat… at a whopping 100 lbs. What was I thinking?! Body image has everything to do with how you feel about yourself. I would love to go back to how I used to look- but I need to accept me for who I am and take care of myself better. That’s what will actually make me feel good! Being able to complete physical tasks without exhaustion would make me feel great!
Jeanine says
This is so very inspiring. I have been really ashamed about my body, and been needing to improve my thought process and my body image.
Shoshana Sue says
This is every girl’s struggle at a certain point in life. Fortunately, there is a lot of self-acceptance being preached these days unlike in the past. You have shared a powerful post that I would recommend especially for teens as this is where body image issues get rooted.
Cindy Ingalls says
This is great advice, especially as my body changes with age.
RoseMary Griffith says
What a lovely, lovely post, Erica. At 58, at a confident 58, you would think I’d be over this by now. But there are still those moments when I think, where’d this body come from? Then I thank God that my fingers work, my hands work, my arms work…and I keep going until I realize what a gift a functioning, mostly healthy, body is all about.
Love this post.
aish das-padihari says
WE women are always worried about how we look and in the process, we put way too much pressure on us. I think we all are beautiful and if we are happy from inside, we will exude a positive vibe.
Jeri says
I’ve had a fairly healthy body image over the years, but I do worry about it my upcoming surgery. I know I’ll do what I can to carry on, but it’s always hard to know exactly how things will hurt a person until reality arrives.
Renee @ The Good Hearted Woman says
This is good advice. One of the gifts of getting a bit older, at least for me, is that I feel a lot more comfortable in my own skin.
Heather says
I’ve been going through this years and am finally comfortable with my body. That doesn’t mean I’m not actively pursuing a lower weight, but it does mean I’ve stopped letting my body image get in the way of enjoying life.
Heather says
Wow! These are amazing steps to take, and none that I would think of. I think positive body image is important, but it seems so difficult to attain.