So I wasn’t always, as my husband calls me, “Captain Nutrition”. In fact, my childhood diet involved a steady supply of junk food. I remember frequent trips to fast food restaurants, indulgences of cookies and cakes and a diet that never included anything green. Well, unless you count green jello. (Gosh, I loved jello.) When I was little, my mother struggled to get me to eat breakfast, so she bought me Carnation Breakfast Bars. For those who don’t know, these were chocolate covered, glorified candy bars. The box said that if you ate one with a glass of milk, it would make a complete breakfast. So I got my mom to give me chocolate milk. Obviously, I wasn’t t born a health freak.
I talk a lot about how I gained weight in my teen years. I talk about how the frustrating journey I went on to lose the weight. But there is one thing that I haven’t talked about publicly until this point. That is the life event that made me want to help people.
I remember going up to my mother in tears when I was 7 years old.
Even at that young age, I could sense that her lifestyle wasn’t healthy. I was concerned about her smoking, her frequent use of Sweet & Low (the news reported a study linking it to disease), and the fact that she struggled with her weight. I remember crying and saying that I didn’t want her to die of cancer and leave me mom-less. Wow, pretty dramatic for 7 years old, I know. And luckily, I graduated high school with my mother standing by my side.
My mother was diagnosed with bladder cancer in 2009.
And I’m sure all of you who have been through cancer yourself, or with a loved one, can relate to that devastation. Again, I begged my mother to live healthier. And what was my first request? Well, she had thankfully already stopped smoking. I went back to my childhood concern and I asked her to give up artificial sweetener. By that point I’d already started drinking diet soda myself, (telling myself it was ok because it was my only vice) so I told her we would do it together. And a cancer diagnosis made both of us much more willing to sacrifice. So we both gave up those fake sweeteners on that day and never looked back.
In 2009, her prognosis was considered good. By 2010, they realized that the cancer had been more advanced than they originally thought.
While facing death, she decided that she was now 100% committed to changing her lifestyle.
Inspired by her cancer, I had just started my first classes for my Master’s degree in nutrition. Since my knowledge was limited, she found a holistic nutritionist who had a great record working with cancer patients.
He had her doing visualization, meditation, juicing, eating superfoods, avoiding all processed and refined foods, eliminating toxins and more. And you know what? She lost weight. Her skin looked vibrant. Her friend came in from out of town and told her she had never looked so healthy She came to my wedding and danced the entire night. All while battling advanced cancer. And she did miss some of her favorite foods…a lot. But she learned that there were lots of healthy foods that she adored.
She never exactly told me how long doctors had given her to live…
But I will say that she surpassed their original expectations. She passed away in December, 2011. 4 1/2 months after this picture was taken.
And let me tell you how my mom’s story inspired me.
The reality is, I will never know if a healthier lifestyle before her diagnosis would have changed things. Perhaps, if she was destined to get cancer, it would have happened later in life. Or maybe it wouldn’t have happened at all. There is no way to ever really know. And, of course, there are people who do everything right and still get cancer.
However, she made a dramatic transformation while sick that made her have more energy and look more fabulous than she had for years. And many of the changes were ones that she could live with. Had she not been fighting such a deadly disease, her diet would have been more flexible which would have made her new lifestyle that much more attractive.
As a weight loss coach, I get really excited for clients when they fit into their old jeans, or they like what they see in the mirror for the first time in years. Their excitement is contagious and fulfilling. But that isn’t my main inspiration.
My mother finally made changes because she knew that she was facing death.
Life was her tangible reward. I chose weight loss as my focus because people often need this tangible reward when making a change. Telling someone to make a change so they don’t suffer in the future usually doesn’t connect. But telling them that they can fit into a smaller size dress usually does. And so in a sense, I use weight loss as a bribe to get people to be healthier.
The one thing I have learned is that it is much better to use nutrition as prevention than it is to use it to fight a terrible disease. So, in my mother’s memory, I help people improve their health before it is a matter of life and death. And as an added bonus, I help them reduce their waistline. And quite frankly, that is a life fulfilling, win-win situation for me. Because you don’t want to wait until facing death to know what it feels like to be healthy.
This was such a moving post, Erica. Thank you for sharing your story with us and indeed, it served to motivate you to help others. So for all things, there truly is a purpose. Thankfully, because of people like you, we have so much more information available to us so that we can make better choices. Bless you:)
Thank you, Jacqui. I do hope that what I do provides value to others.
Thanks for sharing your story. I can see how this experience would be a powerful inspiration and motivator. I love the picture of you and your mother. I’m glad she lived long enough to be at and enjoy your wedding.
I’m glad my mother was at my wedding as well, Donna. Thank you.
Erica what a lovely and touching post. Thanks so much for sharing what broke your heart. I can relate to “And, of course, there are people who do everything right and still get cancer.” There must be 3 or more women friends who have died all too early, in their 50s – one with advanced lung cancer who NEVER smoked; one had colon cancer and was the healthiest of eaters, and of course most of the time by the time that is found it’s about 6 months, exactly what she got.
My point is, as you said, we don’t know if or what might turn our health around. But we sure do know what isn’t healthy and why we choose to continue remains a mystery. That’s a great picture of you and your mom!
Patricia, that is horrible about your friends who passed away so early. There is a lot of talk recently about how lung cancer is not getting the attention in deserves as a killer of women. I think the statistic is that only about 35% of those with lung cancer were smokers, but it still has that stigma. Hopefully, it will get the appropriate attention in the near future. The funny thing is that bladder cancer which my mom had is heavily tied to smoking, yet it doesn’t share that stigma at all.
Thank you for sharing your heart. Such a touching testimony to your life and your mother’s.
People will contact cancer whether healthy or not but it is still important to look after out health on a day to day basis. People have to want it for themselves as they will have to make the necessary sacrifices to see the results.
Beautiful photograph of you and your mother.
You are absolutely right Pheoncia that people do need to want it for themselves. It has to be a priority or people won’t stick to it. My favorite clients to work with are the ones who really do want it.
I really appreciate the sense of purpose you bring to your profession. To be able to tie it back to your mother must make it so much more rewarding than cheering a drop in jeans size.
Thank you, Ken. And yes, for me it is so much more than just the superficial.
Erica, what an inspiring post. When I was reading this, I kind of got the feeling that your mother is still there at your side, motivating you. I love the picture of you and your mom – I’ll bet it’s one you treasure. Thanks for sharing your story.
Thanks, Lenie. I like the idea of what you said. I do like that picture of my mother and me. The funny thing is, the first time I ever saw it was on the day that she died which made me appreciate it that much more.
What a powerful story Erica, thank you so much for sharing with us. I’m sure that your mother would be very proud of the mission she inspired you to pursue in her memory.
It’s ironic that I visited your site just after watching a short film about a family in Africa struggling to just have one meal of anything each day, and not always succeeding. We are so lucky to have the opportunity and means to eat healthier – it’s sometimes good to remind ourselves not everyone has that luxury.
Yes, I agree Marquita that many of us having comforts and luxuries that aren’t available to many of the world’s citizens. And even those who can eat are not always able to afford healthy food. If you go into a poor neighborhood, all you will find is McDonalds and other types of fast food. A lot of people who can afford to eat still can’t afford to eat healthy. That is a huge problem and it would be wonderful to find a way to make nutritious, healthy food available to everyone.
What a moving article. Thank you for sharing it with us. It’s wonderful that you have such will power and that you found purpose out of tragedy.
Thank you Beth. I do think it is wonderful to find something good in the bad. There are always life lessons that need to be learned.
This is a very inspiring article. I know your mother is looking down and is very proud of you.
Thanks so much Jason. I appreciate your kind words.
Erica how very beautifully written.. I knew your mother so funny even before you came along … Ohh how she loved you,,, I remember her carrying you in your white snowsuit on her hip.. The journey of life is a bumpy one for sure.. I am so glad to see you are offering such wonderful advise to us all on this blog.. I have been eating well for years even though so many acquaintances hexed me with ohhh your eating that again or why must you bother the chef with all your priorities ??? My body my health and now just touching 70 doing just fine.. Love sweet child keep up the wonderful work
Hi Gaylee. I’m glad you stick up for your needs and continue to put your health as a priority. Glad to hear that your diligence has led to continued good health.
That is so amazing that you remember a little moment from so long ago. It is nice to hear other people’s memories. I appreciate you sharing them.
I know how difficult it is to lose your Mum but I am inspired by both of you. Your Mum for not feeling beat and making sure she was as healthy as she could be and you, for helping her with and continuing on in her memory.
Thank you Tim. It is true that my mother never at least behaved as if she had been beat. It is a great attitude for dealing with something so serious.
What a moving story. No wonder it broke your heart but also served as an inspiration. Both my parents died unexpectedly and immediately. The bad aspect of that is that you are not able to say good bye. But I have understood that it’s much easier than having to go through your parents being ill for a long time and suffer. My daddy died 35 years ago and he is still in my heart. On May 14th he would have turned 90.
Wow, Caterina. How difficult to have lost your parents so long ago. I think is is especially hard when it is sudden because it is such a shock and you don’t have closure. And I am sure both of your parents will be in your heart forever.
This was such a moving post, Erica. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
Your mum is looking over you and she is very proud of you.
That is so nice of you to say. I really appreciate that!
This is so inspiring. I love reading your posts because they are so full of honesty and understanding. Thank you for being so vulnerable in honoring your mother.